Wednesday, February 20, 2013
"Love is an emotion as vast as the Universe outside us and the Universe within us. Love holds a variety of emotion in and of itself. Have we not in love felt fear, euphoria, joy, guilt, and compassion? The emotions not only go on and on but continue to vary until love becomes conditional, defined, even something to be scared of. (Oh, but remember Jules, it only takes the altering of the c and a to turn scared into sacred.)"
Can we see, can I see, the sacred stone of my heart? As love gets smothered with stuff, emotional and human stuff, it seems to dim. Only when we peel back all the stuff and expose love in its pure, raw state can it, we, I then be touched, as Garth says, like the stones. There in our vessel, we truely experience the light of God which is just that ~ love in its pure, raw state. And from that state we can love purely, we can have faith, we can trust and pray and illuminate and have joy in our being...
Oh my, I am simply busting with so much but hopefully in all this you find something wacky, wondrous, whatever or even something which makes you wonder, what if.
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Not sure why, maybe being extra tired driving into work, possible PMSing, could be natural humanness and it occasionally happens, or simply because I really needed to get my car washed, I don’t know, but the Brothers Gremlin caught hold of me with the ‘enoughs’. “You didn’t make enough pulled pork for Garth’s farewell. Are you writing enough to Garth? You aren’t sending the packages out to him in a timely enough manner. Are you grateful enough to those who have helped him? You definitely are not a strong enough walker. You aren’t brave enough to even be a walker. Are you walking enough? Are you a good enough life coach? Why don’t you have enough clients? Are you drinking enough water? Are you eating enough greens? Absolutely not; you are not drinking enough water. Why isn’t there enough moisture for this time of year?”
Okay, at this point I respond back to Brothers Gremlin asking, “How is not enough moisture this winter my fault?”
“Are you praying enough?” This is about the point where the nasty Brothers pull out the noose of guilt and I place it around my neck like it’s some beautiful heirloom jeweled necklace. Glancing at myself in the rearview mirror, maybe to see if the ‘necklace’ was on right, only fueled them more, “You are certainly looking old enough.”
They reveled and taunted for the entire 45 minute drive into town. Exiting I-15 onto surface streets they sarcastically continued, “Isn’t your car dirty enough for you?” And there, on my right, was Fabulous Freddie’s. “That’s right, here will be enough for you,” they cackle for they know how stressed I get going through a drive through carwash.
Pulling up to the pump to top off my gas tank so to get the discount, the young attendant asks, “Would you like me to fuel you?”
“Yes, that would be so helpful cause I don’t have any legs,” I say.
Ugggg the Brothers caught that one, “It wasn’t enough to simply say yes please, was it?”
The fuel attendant sends me to the carwash attendant who hands me a carwash menu. This is where my heart begins to race. Seeing I’m becoming over whelmed, she asks, “Would you like the interior done also?”
“No, I don’t really want to get out of my car,” I say as calmly as possible.
“Well, then, just choose from this section,” she kindly says pointing to the right side of the menu.
I make a selection, pay my tab and proceed forward. After making the turn, there’s no backing out. “You’re a very bad backer upper anyway,” those Gremlins howl.
Now, at the entrance, at the point where there’s the list of rules, where the guider-in attendant is surely going to roll his eyes at me as I make every attempt to align my tires up with the grabber thing, this is when I have to begin controlling my breath, focus myself so not to have a panic attack. Oh, God, did I put it in neutral too soon? Don’t hit the brakes, don’t hit the brakes…
Today, at about the place where the recycled carwash water mixes with the soap which-comes-from-where making the interesting pink and blue suds, two things dawned on me.
The first; a drive through carwash is a lot like life. There are times when things are such a yucky mess all you can do is wash it out. When those moments come, and you know it, you’ve got to be brave enough (yep I said it BRAVE ENOUGH, and you are, for Pete’s sake, brave enough) to face it head on, even as those Brothers Gremlin taunt. There’s no backing up, even if you are a good backer upper. Then, especially when it’s really hard to do so, you gotta line yourself up just right. Who cares if others roll their eyes at you, you gotta get aligned with the grabber thing, put it in neutral, and let someone else take over. Okay, and I’m not one to really follow the rules, but don’t brake, whatever you do, don’t brake until you’re out. When it gets a little dark and shaky, know it’s going to be okay, there’s some interesting colors to be made out of the recycled water and soap, look for them. This is the best part as things get all lathery, enjoy it, it all rinses away, down the drain and you won't go with it. Fear not the high blower. But, allow yourself to be blown away because you’re going to emerge with a fresh clean view on your amazing, authentic, gorgeous life…
At the point where the recycled water met the soap, yes, I had a wonderful epiphany on life and the carwash. Now, will I wait another gazillion months and be tormented by the Brothers Gremlin before I get my car washed again, probably so, but it will be with less stress and a new approach.
Oh, the second thing that hit me there? It dawned on me why every one of the attendants said, “Have a fabulous day.”