Friday, September 23, 2011

A Little More About This Week

I journeyed to Las Vegas this week to sign documents for the sale of our home there. This is the house Jeff built for me, for our family, for us. The house has been on the market for nearly two years. The selling price is way below what our costs were 11 years ago to buy the land and build. Holding on to the home, with its monthly costs and maintenance had become a financial and emotional burden.
This wasn’t the first time I’d signed closing docs; I’d been down this road before only to have the buyer back out 5 hours prior to the close. So, this bitter-sweet trip to Vegas had me filled with a bit of intrepidation. During the entire drive down I questioned my decision to sell.
Usually I exit at the 215 but chose a different route this day. With the IPod on shuffle, my head questioning, traffic slowed at the Cheyenne exit. Looking at the exit I recalled how many times Jeff and I took this exit to go to the ‘yard’. Even after weekends spent in New Harmony, we’d often cruse the yard. NU’s construction yard, the office, was really Jeff’s home. He grew up in that yard, he owned that yard. “Am I making the right decision?” I asked as traffic began to move. A new song shuffled on, When I Get to Where I’m Going, I took it as an answer. This is the song our daughters chose for Jeff’s funeral. This isn't the first time I'd asked an emotionally deep question to Jeff and had this song play. Oh the synchronicities continue…
Yesterday had a few profound synchronicities as well, but the one I wish to share now is the following quote I came across from a post by my friend Lisa Dieken, . She shared it via Licia Berry, .
“Fear not, money will not be the way we make decisions any more. Following the passion is what will open things up and the flow of all goodness will come through you and to you. The key is to remain open, and doing what you love and loving what you do. The nature of the universe is this passion, and when we embody passion, we are one with the fabric of the universe. When we are not passionate, when we are “dead” in our engagement with the world, we are not showing up to dance with All Creation. All Creation wants to dance, all the time. Will you waltz with All Creation, or will you sit this one out? Your passion is the indication that you are plugged in, and saying YES to the dance.”
This seemed to be a direct answer to my closing question from my previous post, “How can I live with greater passion, celebration, abundance of life?” Synchronicity or Simply Wow!?
A friend of mine, Mark, actually we grew up next door to each other, who I recently reconnected with said in an email to me this week, “…time seems to go much faster when we get over 50…” Time may speed up, it may be short, time, like the wheel of life, keeps rolling along. Thus, time is and always has been precious, valuable, each event time unfolds should be used to enlighten the journey, “…thy word shall be a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path…” Each event, an opportunity to dance.
May I, as I approach my Joyful Jubilee Journey, absorb the light, strengthen the pure light within me, and become a shining light upon a little hill in the country albeit  a dancing light for I have chosen not to sit another out but to dance…Blessings, Love, but mostly Light and yes, I hope you dance.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Wacky, Wondrous, Whatever, What If Wednesday

There is so very much to do today, really there is, and yet I have wandered about the house, out into the gardens, roundabout, getting absolutely nothing accomplished. As I thought about plopping out of the chair into the flowerbed to do some weeding the Sun kissed me with His warmth and I chose to linger there dancing in the His delightful embrace. A slight breeze wafted through and I smelled Autumn’s fragrance; she’s coming.
The Fall Equinox is this Friday, Mabon, another turn on the wheel. I adore Autumn with all Her meaning and energy.  A time to celebrate the bounty offered us, the close of the harvest. Looking out at the vegetable gardens I notice the corn begging to be brought in, enjoyed, preserved so to be able to offer itself during the deadness of Winter as nourishment for the body and soul. The watermelon patch and tomatoes are browning but there lives some produce waiting to be picked. The tiny pumpkin patch finally has blossoms though no pumpkins yet, maybe there’s still time.
The branches of the apple trees out back are hanging down, some have snapped, from the weight of this year’s fruit. I must find someone to pick these beauties. Some apples will be juiced, others made into apple pie filling, while others remain, falling to the ground providing food for the deer, raccoon, and any other critter which passes through.
As I made way around my property seeing so much yet to be done before seasons end, I did nothing but rejoice; rejoice and dancing in the Sun’s warm, passionate embrace. I inhaled deeply Autumn’s faint fragrance feeling like the Goddess who retains a fiery passion for Her God even as He wanes. Oh, but waning is a part of the continuum…
“Whatever,” I said to myself, “things will get done. For now, feel, simply feel.”
After I came in, I reread my post Wheel of Life from February, when I so longed for Spring; now, I so long for Autumn. I have no need to wonder when I began waning, for, looking back I waxed and waned, looking forward I shall wax and wane some more. The wheel will continue to roll and I shall roll along with it. Simply finding joy in all of life, in all of the seasons, and being grateful my soul longs for such.
My 49th year adventure is approaching its end, its final season. Now is a good time to begin thinking about my cycle around the Sun, my 50th year adventure. How shall I celebrate this Joyful Jubilee? How can I live with greater passion, celebration, abundance of life? I’m not real sure just yet but maybe something will come to me as I go back outside and dance.

Monday, September 19, 2011

Synchronicity and a Sea

A journal page, or playing in paint or scribbling with pencil or even writing a blog post, is for me, all about the process, not the finished result. While none of my work maybe ‘artistic’, it is an emergence and exploration into the sea of intuitive self. In the sea of intuitiveness I seem to linger in the safety of the shallow end near the bank where, at any time, I can pull myself up and out. Yet, all the while, I long for the knowledge, discovery, mystery, the depth of what lies beyond. Playing on this journal page I kept hearing, “she knew she’d never have to go beyond her own back yard only beyond the beyond within herself to discover all the beauty her heart longs for.”
What is it I fear? For years I have known I wasn’t tossed into ‘life’ happenstance, thus, I do not wade in the ‘sea’ alone. I have learned over the past 49 revolutions around the sun just how resilient the heart and soul can be. I know, just know, for there are whispers of reminders, promises, and unfolding synchronicities of life which never cease to enthrall me.
So, did I begin to play with the journal page then hear the words or did I hear the words and then began to play with the page…either way it was, once again, about the process and the journey into the intuitive sea albeit along the safe, shallow bank which I remained. While splashing in the shallow waters along the safe bank I recalled events, people, writings, readings, things which occurred over the week and, again, I was struck by the synchronicity of living.
Guidance from Eileen Caddy of Findhorn entitled Deep Within;
"Let nothing disturb or distress you. Seek deep within and find perfect wisdom and understanding. Have you ever watched a spider spinning its web? Every inch of that thread comes from within itself. So with you, you hold deep within you all the secrets of the Universe. There is no need to waste time seeking them from without, they have been yours from the beginning, but have had to lie dormant until you were ready to recognize them and accept them. Then when you are ready nothing is withheld from you, and you know that all I have and all I am is yours."
From Paulo Coelho’s blogspot; an excerpt by Deepak Chopra;
"What was most magical in my childhood was transformation. Death itself was seen as a brief stopping point on an endless soul journey that could turn a peasant into a king and vice versa. With the possibility of infinite lifetimes extending forward and backward, a soul could experience hundreds of heavens and hells. Death ended nothing; it opend up limitless adventures. A drop of water becomes vapor, which is invisible, yet vapor materializes into billowing clouds, and from clouds rain falls back to earth, forming river torrents and eventually merging into the sea. Has the drop of water died along the way? No, it undergoes a new expression at each stage. Likewise, the idea that I have a fixed body locked in space and time is a mirage. Any drop of water inside my body could have been ocean, cloud, river, or spring the day before. I remind myself of this fact when the bonds of daily life squeeze too tight.”
From my friend Charlie, in response to Deepak Chopra’s words;
I think this one tickles the same part of my brain as when, during my first workshop with Mesmera, she said, "Close your eyes and see your breath. Now, realize that some part of the air you are taking in was once breathed by Cleopatra..." yup.
I ran into an acquaintance, which I hadn’t seen in nearly a year, Eileen, who always asks me if I’ve finished my book. Among many things she talked to me about and many things I’d like to share about her and her walk of faith she simply said;
“…you know the secret…yeah, well, I know the secret…”
But she never told me the secret. Is there a secret? She thinks I know the secret.
In Shamanic Journeying A Beginner’s Guide by Sandra Ingerman, I read in chapter two, entitled The Three Worlds;
Speaking of the Lower World, “A literary example of that transition can be found in the story of Alice in Wonderland, where Alice descends into another realm through a magical tunnel. Eventually, you come out into the light…”
Speaking of the Upper World, “This will be a transition, not a barrier, like in the story of Jack and the Beanstalk, where he climbs up…Similarly, The Wizard of Oz, Dorothy travels to another world on a tornado…”
I have related my 49th year journey to Alice; I had a meditative journey just a few weeks ago where, in my personal journaling, I noted the similarities to Jack's beanstalk, and anyone who knows me knows The Wizard of Oz is, by far, my favorite movie and has been since I was a young girl of say about 4.
Which, I was reminded all week, even as recent as yesterday afternoon when a long time friend of Jeff's and mine stoped by and he happened to speak about 4 year olds. He mentioned how pure and honest 4 year olds are, naturally. As I played on this journal page and splased a bit of paint abound on a poster board, I recalled my BIG painting adventure and how we are to paint like a child, like a 4 year old. I recalled, again, my earliest memory from which I was younger than 4. I even asked myself what I believed in, what I knew as a child to be true, what did I possess as a 4 year old that became dormant as the years progressed? Oh, so much...
I don't expect anyone who reads this post to fully or even partially grasp the synchronicity of my life. What I do hope to leave any readers with is, to begin to see the synchronicity of your own life.
This writing is, again, about the process. In the process there is a journey and as I prepare to leave (which I have been dragging my feet to do - oh, hell, you know what I mean) for Las Vegas, but not only this brief journey to Las Vegas but a journey beyond the beyond into the sea, I know there is an unfolding, a facing of fear, a reminder I'm not here happenstance, I'm not splashing alone. In the sea of intuitiveness it is time to let go, which is often more difficult than hanging on, of the safe shallow end and allow the flow to take me out to sea, only a little're gonna be okay...

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Wacky, Wondrous, Whatever, What If Wednesday

Are we dwelling within a magical reality? My friend, Lisa Wilson, said in one of her blog posts this week, “Entering a world of magic is not ignoring the "real" world around us. It is simply a change of perspective.”
If only we would let go of the handle attached to the box lid we often keep ourselves neatly contained within. If we just let go, we will find, with no other effort on our part, the lid will simply, freely open up. Then listen to what beckons us to pop our heads up and turn our ear; to see what lies beyond the self imposed labels, rules, duties, guilt. If only we just let go, like Alice going down the rabbit's hole. I know, really, I know, letting go is often much more difficult than holding on...but its okay to just let go.
What would happen if we opened our eyes and took in a panoramic view of the landscape which lies beyond our tidy little box or, even better still, what would happen if we chose to step outside the box? What if we re-created our labels, relaxed the self imposed rules and duties, removed the noose of guilt? I’m not in any way encouraging us to be unkind, disrespectful, irreverent, or irresponsible; quite the contrary.
Another Lisa friend, Lisa Dieken, is, among many wonderful things, a Shamanic Journey Practitioner .  Recently I took a soul retrieval journey with her. In the journey she re-introduced to me a delightful, helpful, magical, healing, soulful part of – me. Lisa guided me on a journey which adjusted and continues to adjust my perspective. During the journey she also reaffirmed something she had told me weeks prior, its okay to play.
Is it time to reinvent play in our lives? Play; to have a playful heart and soul is part of what is required and what happens when we step outside our boxed in world into a magical reality. Play, like that of child, like that of Alice in Wonderland.
Yes, I finished Alice’s Adventures In Wonderland, reading it that is. The book is so very different than any of the movies. And, while I like the movie renditions, I wish they would have included Alice’s sister’s involvement at the end of the story. While I continue to soak in the book, reinvent play, explore soul integration, and step further out of and away from my box into the magical reality beyond, I want to quote, as a reminder to myself and to my sister who is also named Lisa, and, as a sister to all who may venture here, what is written in the concluding portion of the book,
“But her sister sat still just as she (Alice) left her, leaning her head on her hand, watching the setting sun, and thinking of little Alice and all her wonderful Adventures, till she too began dreaming after a fashion…lastly, she pictured to herself how this same little sister of hers would, in the after-time, be herself a grown woman; and how she would keep, through all her riper years, the simple and loving heart of her childhood; and how she would gather about her other little children, and make their eyes bright and eager with many a strange tale, perhaps even with the dream of Wonderland of long ago and how she would feel with all their simple sorrows, and find a pleasure in all their simple joys, remembering her own child-life, and the happy summer days.”
There is depth here, there is depth in Wonderland, there is depth beyond the reality of what we know, there is depth, magic, play, soul and as you explore this ‘reality’ remember you are tethered to the Great Creator, to your God. As you let go, simply trust...

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Elemental Wishing Jars

I've created and played with these for years. They've helped to inspire, focus, re-focus, bring clarity and purity to my heart felt wishes. They seem to be calling out, needing to be shared, offered to others, to you. If you are interested leave me a comment or send me an email at

Bringing them out, is a new adventure. I haven't even thought the process through but I feel a call to do this, now. So, on the wings of prayers and wishes, out into the universe they go...

EARTH ~ to help inspire & center wishes associated with grounding, prosperity, money, business, fertility, employment, garden, foundation, abundance, home, animals, peace, stability…
AIR ~ to help inspire & center wishes associated with clear thinking, creativity, travel, wisdom, intellect, memory, communication, astral travel, health…
FIRE ~ to help inspire & center wishes associated with protection, energy, courage, strength, passion, communication, purification, love, negativity, vitality, willpower…
WATER ~ to help inspire & center wishes associated with healing, friendship, marriage, reconciliation, intuition, relationships, purification, sleep, dreams, psychic awareness, compassion…
Some things are worth preserving and yet, are not meant to remain bottled up forever. There comes a time, a moment of opening and partaking.
Each Elemental Wishing Jar contains a dram of Elemental Oil which is a blend of essential oils in a grape seed oil base mixed during the waning moon, a candle, a smaller container filled with a substance such as rice, sand, stones which can be used as a candle holder, something to write your wish on, and a cowry shell.
Each item is cleansed, prayerfully packed, and every jar is blessed prior to sending.
I encourage you to be creative, intuit, and open while partaking of your Wishing Jar.
You can leave questions or comments at
May the clarity and purity of your heart felt wishes be inspired.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Wondrous, Wacky, Whatever, What If Wednesday

My Dillon son recently moved to the Denver area for work. Last week was his 20th birthday and I was able to spend several days with him. On his birthday, after dinner, we went to a major department store so I could purchase him a big birthday gift; a television along with a few other smaller things.
It was last call in the store, just about closing time, when we checked out. Everything ran through, I swiped my credit card and uhoh, declined. You know the look you get when this happens; you know the nervousness you feel? The clerk politely says, “Oh, it’s okay, here, let’s swipe it again.” CARD DECLINED. Several team members are approaching, another register has to be opened to check out the customers lined up behind us, all of whom are giving me the ‘card declined more than once stare.’
“Let me give this one a go,” I said as I brought out my only other credit card. CARD DECLINED.
By now Dillon is really ready to just be done, to leave without his birthday gifts, but not me. “Let me call the credit card company.” I said.
The manager, whose appearance wasn’t nearly as polite as the checkout clerk says, “Do you think it’ll help? We close in less than five minutes.”
“Mom, it’s alright, we can do this later.”
“No, son, we’re getting your TV.”
The clock is ticking. I’m giving secret passwords to the credit card company. All eyes are on us. Dillon just wants to go home. The not so polite in appearance manager has her keys out ready to lock up. “They had me on fraud alert, it’ll go through now.” Eureka! Dillon has his birthday gift and all the team members are glad to see us leave.
This was Wednesday; on Saturday Dillon wants to pick up a few items at the same department store. I could detect a bit of apprehensiveness in him as we entered the store. But I vowed to myself I wouldn’t make any kind of a scene; nothing to draw any more attention to us.
Throughout our shopping experience I was well behaved. We checked out without any hang ups; I didn’t need to pull my credit card out, I didn’t even say a word, that is until we passed the next checkout lane where there was a wee bit of mayhem going on. The clerk says, to anyone who’d listen, in a freaked out kind of way, “Someone needs to get this praying mantis out of here!”  Customers avoided the area around the beautiful mantis. Other team members would only peek over to take a look at it. Dillon couldn’t push his cart of purchased goods out fast enough.
Having read my previous blog post about the praying mantis outside my kitchen door, Dill knew what was coming next, “Oh, it’s alright, she’s beautiful, don’t kill her, my son will get it for you.”
With a deep sigh and an ‘oh my hell’ look, Dillon went to gather the mantis. I couldn’t help myself as I continued to explain, “Mantis means prophet in Greek. They are a blessing, really, you are blessed this little creature was in your check out lane…”
I was still rambling on about the wonders of praying mantis when Dillon returned from taking her outside. He gave me the 'oh my hell' look again along with the 'it's time to go now' look tacked on. “But I had to explain it to them, Dill, they had to know what a blessing a mantis is so they won’t kill her next time…”
“Mom, you are banned from this store forever.”
“I’m sorry, but I just had to; hopefully someone in there now understands the wondrous world of praying mantis,” I replied as we wheeled across the parking lot.
“It was kind of strange how its feet felt on my hands. It made its way between my fingers as I cupped it, crawling onto my wrist and then it gave me the most curious look,” Dillon said. “Mom, really, you had to go on about it being a blessing and a prophet and…”