Monday, June 18, 2012

Dearmers Possibletarians Manifestarians

There are dreamers who dream with such conviction of the heart they are drawn to possibletarians.
Possibletarians create possibilities for dreamers to dwell in.
A moment comes when the dreamer seizes the gift of possibilities.
Together, dreamer and possibletarian manifest the dream, becoming manifestarians.
Manifestarians inspire others to be dreamers,
Dreamers who dream with such conviction of the heart they are drawn to possibletarians…

My running adventure was short lived, but only temporarily, as osteomyelitis flared up at the distal end of my left leg. After several tests, doctor visits, and prayers it was determined the best fix will be another revision. This one will be a biggie, huge, the last attempt to save my knee, but I have been blessed with an ‘A Team’. This is more of my Ideal Life Vision manifesting itself and God watching over this little girl. When everything, my Ideal Life Vision, doctors, surgeons, family, leg makers, friends, physical therapist, began to take their place in my life I had to create something tangible, thus the little collage and writings. This life is a partnership. I could not have accomplished the things I have on my own. I could not have come through the things I have on my own. We are in this together, connected, intertwined. Together we journey life and it is such a beautiful, joyful, quest. Know you are Dreamers, Possibletarians, Manifestarians of whom I am filled with deep gratitude, radiant light, and pure love for. Seize the possibilities you dwell within today.
(there should be a photo here, sorry, I'll be working at figuring out how to fix the problem)

Saturday, June 16, 2012

An Ideal Life Vision Testimonial

A warm evening last August I was making every attempt to focus on the annual Cub Scout Rain Gutter Regatta. But, earlier that day, I watched a group of women out for a morning run. Watching their feet make contact with the earth, the power and stride of their legs, the grace with which their bodies moved, for some reason this morning sunk my heart into a longing, a home sickness for my legs, a miss for just one really hard-pounding-heart-pumping three mile run. Now, hours later, sitting in my wheelchair pretending to enjoy the regatta, my heart and legs still ached in deep miss.
My two little friends, Katelyn 7 and Marci 6, came and sat down next to me, one on either side. As if they knew, could sense my energy, feel my loss, hear my heart, they each, simultaneously, tenderly patted the tops of my thighs. Sweetly looking at me, with compassion, purity, and assurance they said, “Julia, you don’t have to miss your feet much longer.”
“I don’t, why?” I asked
“Because when you turn 18 they’re gonna grow back.”
I’m not sure which one said what as they spoke with one accord. When one said something the other shook her head in affirmation. Oh, to live in their magical, mystical world. On the way home I wondered what I would look most forward to, turning 18 again with 50 years of life knowledge or growing my legs back?
Although being in a consistent exercise program since May, it wasn’t until late November I went into Hanger Clinic to meet with Brian and Mick. I had, for the most part of the past 5 years since Jeff crossed over, spent the time in my chair. The two began the casting and fitting process for a new set of prosthetics. They felt confident in getting me up right and walking again.
But, did I have the confidence, let alone the strength, courage, energy to be up right again? Fear, doubt, self loathing, several of the Brothers Gremlin raised their ugly, slimy heads.  With a deep breath, I summonsed the wealth of knowledge learned from Connie’s FEARLESS Painting process and faced those Gremlins head on. I had developed a new sense of courage and come November/December 2011 it was time to ‘step’ it up a notch, ‘step’ beyond the safety of my little country space, it was time to become FEARLESS.
With the new intuitive practice and tools I gained, combined with six months of cardio and strength training, I was beginning to feel more confident in myself physically and emotionally. By December I had gone from a few hours a week on legs to a few hours a day. It was also in December I took the ‘step’ to take an artsy class outside of my own four walls. I signed up for Lauri Grimshaw-Cox’s Moon Girls class. It was a delightful all day workshop held at her studio in West Jordan, Utah. Now, I admit, if it wasn’t for my son, Chris, attending University of Utah and living up there and his friend Christina who graciously attended the class with me, I probably would have allowed the Brothers Gremlin to talk me out of going.
Incorporated in the all day workshop Lauri, who is an amazing artist and Life Coach, exposed us to a mini Ideal Life Vision class. The concept of this program, clarity and focus on 5 key areas of life, made such perfect sense to me. I was completely enthralled and for the next several weeks it kept whispering to me, “You need to explore this program more.”
January 2012 my cash flow was more than strained but I couldn’t hold out any longer. After researching the Ideal Life Vision Community I knew with faith and trust I had to hire Lauri as my Life Coach. After paying for my sessions in full the Brothers Gremlin began to taunt me, “Go to that stack of bills you’ve conveniently ignored for weeks.”  Shrinking, I obeyed. As I opened one after another those nasty Gremlin boys reveled. One envelop slipped out, however, a refund check I knew was coming but expected to be around a $100. When I opened it, to my delight and surprise it was almost the exact amount, within a few dollars of what I just paid for my Ideal Life Vision Coaching sessions, “Now what Brothers Gremlin!” I reveled back.
Later January I had recorded my first Ideal Life Vision. In my Physical and Fitness section I state, “I am a runner.”  Hearing me say this in my own voice instilled a sense of power and vision to me, I could actually see myself running. I also record in this section, “…February I meet the most perfect individuals who assist, train, teach, provide the equipment necessary for me to run…”
Early February, after training up right on my legs, I stopped at the grocery store. It is always obvious when someone wants to chit chat with me at the grocery store because they take themselves out of their shopping groove and, even though their cart shows evidence of having been on my current isle, they end up in my isle again and again, each time with a smile that says, “I really want to say something to you but I’m not sure how to start.” After about the third time our carts pass I smile and say, “Hello,” and that’s all it takes.
This particular day after my cart passed for the third time and I said, “Hello.” A handsome elderly gentleman commented on my prosthetics, “Those are really something else.” Then, oddly enough, he asked, “Are you a runner?”
“Thank you. Yes, the legs are amazing and no, I used to run, 15 years ago, but I won’t ever be able to run again.” I noticed as I said the last part it came out hushed, almost in a whisper, like ‘don’t let my Ideal Life Vision know I just said that.’ “I do miss it a lot though,” I continued.
“I used to be a runner myself, I miss it too,” he said. “I’m 83 years old and the body won’t let me run any more but I walk. I walk every day,” he proudly said. “I can tell you’re a runner,” he firmly stated.
“Oh, thank you,” I replied. “You keep walking every day, it’s good for you. Maybe you and I ought to give running another go?” I said jokingly.
I saw Brian and Mick the following day and mentioned this conversation with them. Brian asked, “Do you want to run?”
“Oh, I’d love too,” then in that hushed tone I said, “I won’t ever be able to run again.”
“Why not?” Brian asked.
Why not, no one ever asked me that before.  Really, Jules, why not?
A few weeks later, I met Locke a physical therapist and the Director of the Wellness Center in St. George. He had been looking for a motivated, athletic individual facing a challenge to work with.
Well what do you know? By February I did meet the most perfect individuals. By the beginning of March Brian and Mick had made me a set of running legs complete with running feet and Locke, accepting me as his challenge, came up with a plan. With several prosthetic adjustments and a gate belt around my waist after 15 years and at 50 years old, I ran. I actually ran!
On my Facebook page there is a 13 second video Brian took with his phone recording my first run. The last time I ran was May 23, 1997. I have attempted to upload it here but it seems the video wants to stay right where it is. In the video you hear me say, "Oh, I think I'm doing it!"
Yes, I am doing it. I am living my Ideal Life. With even more passion and joy I continue to simply, completely love life. Alright, I might not turn 18 again and my legs might not grow back (hmmm maybe I should record those in my next Vision), but I am doing it, I am living my Ideal Life and it is, for me, a magical, mystical world, an amazing feeling to seize the endless possibilities available and then make manifest. And it can be for you too. Really, it can. This summer I will be a certified Ideal Life Vision Coach and I'd so enjoy assisting you into your most amazing, manifesting, magical, mystical world.
And her Ideal Life is to be continued….

Monday, February 6, 2012

Journey of Joy

A woman once asked me, “How can you be so happy after all you’ve been through?”
So profound was this question, I’m not sure what my response was or if I even had one.
I thought about this question a lot for weeks after it was asked of me. What struck me most was the word ‘happy.’ Happy is not a word I would choose to describe the things I’ve been through. Yet, oddly enough, it is what this woman saw in me. Or is it?
During my thought processes I determined happy is based on happening. Just look at the words; happiness, happening, happy; it seemed to me that happy is a root of happenings and many of the happenings in my life haven’t been happy. Many of the happenings in your life, the lives of others aren’t happy happenings. So what could the woman who asked the question be seeing in me? I decided it had to be joy. For joy, I believe, is ever accessible even in the yuckiest of life’s events, joy abounds.
From the time the question was originally asked, and while there were plenty of happy happenings, the years progressed bringing more difficult times, more challenging life events for me. And these events, occurrences have reinforced within me that what this woman saw, all those years ago, was simply, joy.
Of course I had discussed this topic with my family, even brought it up several times in motivational talks I have given. A few years ago my sister said to me, “…well, at least you have joy.”
This comment was as profound to me. When she said it I heard it in a way in which joy was somehow given to me and not to her, like it missed her genes. As I began to ponder and study this idea of joy, I realized the perception of joy being given to some and not others, is a misinterpretation, a misunderstanding like the misinterpretation of happy actually being joy.
The creation story, told within the Hebrew Text aka the Old Testament, while it is told twice with some differences, it does express the importance, the intensity, and balance of masculine and feminine via a few simple yet impactful verses, “So God created…in the image of God...male and female…God saw everything that He had made…it was very good…God said, the man is become like one of Us, to know good and evil…” (Genesis 1:27, 31 & 3:22)   There is a Latter Day scripture which reads, “…men are that they might have joy.” (2 Nephi 2:25) In Galatians (5:22) joy is given as one of the ‘nutrients’ of the fruit of the Spirit (notice it is fruit singular, not fruits plural so by partaking you ingest all the nutrients of the fruit of the Spirit). More recently I have learned, or I am still learning would be the better way to phrase this, that joy is a ‘lesser’ or ‘minor’ Universal Law  aka Spiritual Law.
I bring this up here, now, because I have been approached many, many times since the original question and my sister’s comment, about how do I ‘bring’ or ‘have’ joy in my life. For the next several weeks it is my intent to touch on this, to offer to you some insight and tools of the things I’ve learned, I am learning, on my journey of joy.
Joy isn’t just in the journey it surrounds the JOurneY. Joy abounds in my life and it abounds in yours as well, really, it does, I promise.
Here’s a little token towards one of the tools. I believe this quote to be spot on correct. Take in every word, let it absorb into your being; believe it, yes, believe it…

“Believe in Loves infinite journey for it is your own, for you are Love, Love is Life.” Rumi

Purely, truly, simply Love Life and you will begin to purely, truly, simply experience Joy.
From my Joyful Heart to Yours!

Friday, February 3, 2012

Simply Serve

There’s always something, as moms, we do which annoy our children. Something I did, really still do but I don’t get ‘the look’ so much anymore, is volunteer my children to do something. For example I’d see a need at a neighbor’s house, maybe they just got home with a car load of groceries, I’d say, “Go over and help carry those groceries in.” Or the garbage men would be making their rounds on a scorching hot Las Vegas summer afternoon, I’d say, “Take them out a juice box.” Often I’d get the ‘are you serious’ look which, in return, I’d give the ‘yes, I’m very serious’ look.
My children, who are now all adults, just shake their heads whenever I say, “Oh, my kids will be happy to help.” The fortunate thing is I really don’t have to ‘volunteer’ them as volunteering or acts of service are second nature for them and for this I am deeply grateful. I witness my children from varying vantage points and I am continually awestruck by their gracious hearts, their impactful actions, the positive influence they emit to the Universe, and their continued inspiration.
As I share a bit of my children’s actions which I’ve recently observed may you, as I have been, be inspired. Also, may you notice anew, that service comes in many, many shapes and sizes, degrees of depths, can be fortuitous or purposeful.
My oldest daughter is an amazingly devoted wife, mother, business owner. Her commitment to her family reverberates into community, society, or as John Paul II said it best, “As the family goes so goes the nation and so goes the whole world in which we live.” We don’t have to look much beyond our own front doors to know this is true; nor to know the truth and contribution to our economy of good, solid, hard working business owners. Service, at times, is being devoted in your roll as a mother, father, child, sibling, business owner, employer, employee. Simply being the best you can be within the four walls of your own home or place of employment is a great act of service in and of itself.
My oldest son, who is in his first year of graduate school working towards his doctorate in physical therapy, seizes the many opportunities to serve which come to him through school. He doesn’t have to go out searching as well organized opportunities abound, if you simply be aware. This isn’t all he does to serve. I often have people approach me when they ‘catch wind’ that I’m Chris’ mom and tell me sweet little stories of something Chris had done for them. Actually, it isn’t just the act but the authenticity of which the act was done that made the greater impact. Going through the motion of an act of service is one thing, but doing it from a true, authentic place takes things to a whole new Universal level.
My youngest son is so unexpected. He sees, he does, that’s it. There’s no fanfare, no preplanning, no searching, it simply just is. I have neighbors come up to me and say, “Did you son tell you what he did?” or “Your son did the most amazing thing for me…” or “Did you read the letter your son wrote for such and such cause?” No, I didn’t know, is almost always the case. He simply sees, does, done and the Universe responds to such clear simplicity.
My youngest daughter, an amazing woman; she teaches school and works part time for her sister. She never uses her busy schedule as an excuse not to serve. She volunteers for Habitats for Humanity, she makes sandwiches, drives to homeless areas, and passes them out, since my accident 14 years ago, even with her dislike of needles, she is a constant blood donor, and her recent volunteer adventure which requires training and screening is for one of the local hospitals, selecting the Intensive Care Unit as her first choice. When I was in the hospital I was in ICU and then isolation. As a young teen, the experience of having her mom there could have left a negative impact. As a young adult, watching her daddy fight for his life and crossing over after 2 ½ months in ICU could have left a negative impact. Instead, she has chosen to face her fears, seek the positive, and then simply make a difference.
My middle son shared a sweet story with me last night. He has a ritual of waking up reading a few scriptures, going on his knees to pray and within the prayer he always asks, “Let me be of service to someone today.” He tells me the opportunity doesn’t usually arrive for him. But, on Wednesday after the prayer he’s thinking about what he should do before going to work, take a walk, go to the gym, watch television. While he’s tossing the ideas around, his intuition tells him to take the garbage out.  Without thought or question he heeds his intuition and grabs his garbage. He no sooner does he get out the door when he hears a woman say in an elevated, frustrated tone, “Fuck!” He asks, “Are you okay?” She responds, “I have a flat tire, can you help me?” Okay, God, Goddess, the Universe, Creative Source, whatever name you associate with doesn’t often use the “F” word to grab your attention. However, you should begin to attune with your intuitive-self and know, every now and then, you simply must step outside your front door.
I am very proud of my children, truly, wholly, as much as any mother could possibly be and, having said that, I take no credit for their fabulousness. The Fab-Five would be as fabulous as they are with or without me in their lives. They are divine children of the Universe, sons and daughters of God. And so are you, SO ARE YOU.
I share these stories with you because I have a firm belief in acts of service as well as acts of gratitude. May these simple stories inspire you; remind you as I said in the beginning that service comes in many, many shapes and sizes, degrees of depths, can be fortuitous or purposeful. Just simply, purely serve one another.
If you are looking for a service project to be involved in, I’m assisting a friend of mine with collecting items for the VA office in Las Vegas. If you are interested, leave a comment here, email, or send me a message on Facebook. And remember, there’s no reason not to keep it so simple.
With deep gratitude, Sat Nam.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Wacky, Wondrous, Whatever, What If Wednesday

Isn’t it a bit ‘wacky’ when from out of the blue a memory surfaces? For no apparent reason, nothing occurring which would summons the memory and yet there it is, clearly before you. Yes, you guessed it, it happened to me last night. Doing my normal ‘wrap up the day’ stuff, a memory silently, beautifully surfaced…
In the late 80’s I was an exhausted single mom, working two sometimes three jobs. After my two beautiful babies were tucked in I’d force myself to stay awake a few extra moments to read. Often it would be the Bible because typically whatever novel I was reading I had to reread to remember what I had just read and some evenings that took too much effort. Scripture was easy as I could randomly open it, read a few lines and call it good.
This one particular night I had just settled in opening the ‘good book’, when I heard my little boy’s tiny-quiet whimper and crinkly-diaper- toddler walk approach me. As I set the book down it struck me odd, albeit I was a bit annoyed, how the pages seemed to flitter about, falling and settling open at its own desired place, losing mine.
With a little tear in his eye, my son stood over the book. Before I could scoop him up and give him a mommie hug, his nose began to bleed, not bad, in fact it was one drop of blood which landed smack dap in the middle of the page where the book chose to land open. I gathered him in my arms, made sure he was okay, and whispered mommie things in his ear as I carried him back to bed.
After tucking him in, I decided to skip the reading thing, hell, I didn’t even know where I was now that the book decided to fall open to another place. This was a Red Letter, New International Version, the single blood droplet landed on a page where the book spread had only one red letter sentence, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9…
While it’s ‘wacky’ this memory came from nowhere last night, it isn’t ‘wacky’ that I have recalled this memory often. This scripture, which by the way, my son used years later as his missionary scripture, has been a source of inspiration and comfort during difficult times. The memory appropriately surfaced several times while I was in the hospital losing my legs, often during the long rehab, of course while Jeff was in the hospital and several times after losing him and my dad and our business and not getting close to grand babies and not feeling enough and wearing the noose of guilt, and, and, and…but last night there wasn’t an and…so after the memory came I closed my eyes, found my center, and listened. It didn’t take long, although I expected a discourse, to powerfully hear, “Surrender.”
This morning I ponder the memory and the single word message. As I do, one more thing continues to surface, that being, it isn’t all about me. So I offer my intimate memory and power word to you, those whom the Universe sends my way. Whatever name you associate with, be it Christ, Creative Source, God Goddess, or all as One, hear the message, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
We are not alone. We are all connected. We are so much more then we can even begin to comprehend. Seize and Surrender to it! And, make it a wacky, wondrous, whatever, what if Wednesday.