Isn’t it a bit ‘wacky’ when from out of the blue a memory surfaces? For no apparent reason, nothing occurring which would summons the memory and yet there it is, clearly before you. Yes, you guessed it, it happened to me last night. Doing my normal ‘wrap up the day’ stuff, a memory silently, beautifully surfaced…
In the late 80’s I was an exhausted single mom, working two sometimes three jobs. After my two beautiful babies were tucked in I’d force myself to stay awake a few extra moments to read. Often it would be the Bible because typically whatever novel I was reading I had to reread to remember what I had just read and some evenings that took too much effort. Scripture was easy as I could randomly open it, read a few lines and call it good.
This one particular night I had just settled in opening the ‘good book’, when I heard my little boy’s tiny-quiet whimper and crinkly-diaper- toddler walk approach me. As I set the book down it struck me odd, albeit I was a bit annoyed, how the pages seemed to flitter about, falling and settling open at its own desired place, losing mine.
With a little tear in his eye, my son stood over the book. Before I could scoop him up and give him a mommie hug, his nose began to bleed, not bad, in fact it was one drop of blood which landed smack dap in the middle of the page where the book chose to land open. I gathered him in my arms, made sure he was okay, and whispered mommie things in his ear as I carried him back to bed.
After tucking him in, I decided to skip the reading thing, hell, I didn’t even know where I was now that the book decided to fall open to another place. This was a Red Letter, New International Version, the single blood droplet landed on a page where the book spread had only one red letter sentence, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9…
While it’s ‘wacky’ this memory came from nowhere last night, it isn’t ‘wacky’ that I have recalled this memory often. This scripture, which by the way, my son used years later as his missionary scripture, has been a source of inspiration and comfort during difficult times. The memory appropriately surfaced several times while I was in the hospital losing my legs, often during the long rehab, of course while Jeff was in the hospital and several times after losing him and my dad and our business and not getting close to grand babies and not feeling enough and wearing the noose of guilt, and, and, and…but last night there wasn’t an and…so after the memory came I closed my eyes, found my center, and listened. It didn’t take long, although I expected a discourse, to powerfully hear, “Surrender.”
This morning I ponder the memory and the single word message. As I do, one more thing continues to surface, that being, it isn’t all about me. So I offer my intimate memory and power word to you, those whom the Universe sends my way. Whatever name you associate with, be it Christ, Creative Source, God Goddess, or all as One, hear the message, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
We are not alone. We are all connected. We are so much more then we can even begin to comprehend. Seize and Surrender to it! And, make it a wacky, wondrous, whatever, what if Wednesday.