Wednesday, August 28, 2013
This came across my Facebook feed last night.
My first thought was to scoop up this sweet little critter and bring her inside, dry off her wings, hold her until the storm passes, and then set her free.
My next thought was a memory; a memory of when I was in the hospital, just after being sent from ICU trauma to an isolation room. It was a mid-morning, having another unit of blood coming into me, all kinds of fluids, antibiotics, morphine...I was in and out. While all those things are clear in many of my memories from back then it is the memory of glancing over to my left and seeing my dad sitting next me.
This mid-morning, when I looked at my dad I caught him weeping. I had never in my 35 years of life ever, not once, seem my dad cry. During the space of time which we didn't say anything I had this beautiful thought, "If my dad, my Earthly dad is weeping for his daughter, how much is my Heavenly dad weeping for me?"
I know my dad was weeping for me, his daughter, feeling helpless, feeling like if he could he'd take this all away for me, he'd give me back my legs, he'd release the pain, he'd eliminate the fact that his oldest daughter might still die....oh I know the countless reasons why he was weeping and all the soulful, pure, unidentified reasons he was weeping. And I wondered, "If my dad is weeping like this for me how much more does my Heavenly dad weep for me?" but I didn't know...does He, my great God weep for me? He surely knows what has happened, what I'm going through....
Of course I smiled at my dad, letting him know I was going to be okay, really I assured him I would be okay. He dried his eyes, smiled back and we simply visited.
After he left I thought about the weeping Dad's but anger entered and I cried out to my Heavenly dad, "You could have stopped this, you could have made this less, you could have spared my legs, this is so damn unfair...." Yeah, if you know me, even in my drug induced self, I continued a really good fit throwing.
My fits typically end because I exhaust myself. And, at that time I exhausted more quickly than usual. As I lay there alone in my fit-exhausted-overly-divinely-drugged-state, my great God, my sweet Heavenly Father whispered, "As much as your Earthly dad weeps for you I weep even more. I weep more because yes, I could have stopped this, spared this from you but you, my daughter can weather this storm..."
This picture summonsed within me this memory, and as we all know memories which come with divine spiritual messages are beyond mere words. There is power in this picture for me eternal power, a reminder that in the storms of my life I must face them head on, in the down pour, in the bitter cold, remain steadfast and pray. As my heart breaks, as I, in my humanness struggle and throw fits, pray, I must continue to hold on and pray and know that my Heavenly Father wants to scoop me up and bring me in...my Heavenly Father can scoop me up and bring me in...but it's not time child, not yet. And I know this, while I'm there in the rage of the storm, I am not alone, He is there weeping for me, with me...and the storms will pass, my wings will dry, and because I did it, weathered it, prayed, and know my Father's love, I will fly stronger and higher....
Face your storms, pray though them, and believe me you are not alone...your Great God weeps for you, He is supporting you through, knowing once the storm passes and your wings dry out, you will soar! To His Greatness and Glory, Soar.