A warm evening last August I was making every attempt to focus on the annual Cub Scout Rain Gutter Regatta. But, earlier that day, I watched a group of women out for a morning run. Watching their feet make contact with the earth, the power and stride of their legs, the grace with which their bodies moved, for some reason this morning sunk my heart into a longing, a home sickness for my legs, a miss for just one really hard-pounding-heart-pumping three mile run. Now, hours later, sitting in my wheelchair pretending to enjoy the regatta, my heart and legs still ached in deep miss.
My two little friends, Katelyn 7 and Marci 6, came and sat down next to me, one on either side. As if they knew, could sense my energy, feel my loss, hear my heart, they each, simultaneously, tenderly patted the tops of my thighs. Sweetly looking at me, with compassion, purity, and assurance they said, “Julia, you don’t have to miss your feet much longer.”
“I don’t, why?” I asked
“Because when you turn 18 they’re gonna grow back.”
I’m not sure which one said what as they spoke with one accord. When one said something the other shook her head in affirmation. Oh, to live in their magical, mystical world. On the way home I wondered what I would look most forward to, turning 18 again with 50 years of life knowledge or growing my legs back?
Although being in a consistent exercise program since May, it wasn’t until late November I went into Hanger Clinic to meet with Brian and Mick. I had, for the most part of the past 5 years since Jeff crossed over, spent the time in my chair. The two began the casting and fitting process for a new set of prosthetics. They felt confident in getting me up right and walking again.
But, did I have the confidence, let alone the strength, courage, energy to be up right again? Fear, doubt, self loathing, several of the Brothers Gremlin raised their ugly, slimy heads. With a deep breath, I summonsed the wealth of knowledge learned from Connie’s FEARLESS Painting process and faced those Gremlins head on. I had developed a new sense of courage and come November/December 2011 it was time to ‘step’ it up a notch, ‘step’ beyond the safety of my little country space, it was time to become FEARLESS.
With the new intuitive practice and tools I gained, combined with six months of cardio and strength training, I was beginning to feel more confident in myself physically and emotionally. By December I had gone from a few hours a week on legs to a few hours a day. It was also in December I took the ‘step’ to take an artsy class outside of my own four walls. I signed up for Lauri Grimshaw-Cox’s Moon Girls class. It was a delightful all day workshop held at her studio in West Jordan, Utah. Now, I admit, if it wasn’t for my son, Chris, attending University of Utah and living up there and his friend Christina who graciously attended the class with me, I probably would have allowed the Brothers Gremlin to talk me out of going.
Incorporated in the all day workshop Lauri, who is an amazing artist and Life Coach, exposed us to a mini Ideal Life Vision class. The concept of this program, clarity and focus on 5 key areas of life, made such perfect sense to me. I was completely enthralled and for the next several weeks it kept whispering to me, “You need to explore this program more.”
January 2012 my cash flow was more than strained but I couldn’t hold out any longer. After researching the Ideal Life Vision Community I knew with faith and trust I had to hire Lauri as my Life Coach. After paying for my sessions in full the Brothers Gremlin began to taunt me, “Go to that stack of bills you’ve conveniently ignored for weeks.” Shrinking, I obeyed. As I opened one after another those nasty Gremlin boys reveled. One envelop slipped out, however, a refund check I knew was coming but expected to be around a $100. When I opened it, to my delight and surprise it was almost the exact amount, within a few dollars of what I just paid for my Ideal Life Vision Coaching sessions, “Now what Brothers Gremlin!” I reveled back.
Later January I had recorded my first Ideal Life Vision. In my Physical and Fitness section I state, “I am a runner.” Hearing me say this in my own voice instilled a sense of power and vision to me, I could actually see myself running. I also record in this section, “…February I meet the most perfect individuals who assist, train, teach, provide the equipment necessary for me to run…”
Early February, after training up right on my legs, I stopped at the grocery store. It is always obvious when someone wants to chit chat with me at the grocery store because they take themselves out of their shopping groove and, even though their cart shows evidence of having been on my current isle, they end up in my isle again and again, each time with a smile that says, “I really want to say something to you but I’m not sure how to start.” After about the third time our carts pass I smile and say, “Hello,” and that’s all it takes.
This particular day after my cart passed for the third time and I said, “Hello.” A handsome elderly gentleman commented on my prosthetics, “Those are really something else.” Then, oddly enough, he asked, “Are you a runner?”
“Thank you. Yes, the legs are amazing and no, I used to run, 15 years ago, but I won’t ever be able to run again.” I noticed as I said the last part it came out hushed, almost in a whisper, like ‘don’t let my Ideal Life Vision know I just said that.’ “I do miss it a lot though,” I continued.
“I used to be a runner myself, I miss it too,” he said. “I’m 83 years old and the body won’t let me run any more but I walk. I walk every day,” he proudly said. “I can tell you’re a runner,” he firmly stated.
“Oh, thank you,” I replied. “You keep walking every day, it’s good for you. Maybe you and I ought to give running another go?” I said jokingly.
I saw Brian and Mick the following day and mentioned this conversation with them. Brian asked, “Do you want to run?”
“Oh, I’d love too,” then in that hushed tone I said, “I won’t ever be able to run again.”
“Why not?” Brian asked.
Why not, no one ever asked me that before. Really, Jules, why not?
A few weeks later, I met Locke a physical therapist and the Director of the Wellness Center in St. George. He had been looking for a motivated, athletic individual facing a challenge to work with.
Well what do you know? By February I did meet the most perfect individuals. By the beginning of March Brian and Mick had made me a set of running legs complete with running feet and Locke, accepting me as his challenge, came up with a plan. With several prosthetic adjustments and a gate belt around my waist after 15 years and at 50 years old, I ran. I actually ran!
On my Facebook page there is a 13 second video Brian took with his phone recording my first run. The last time I ran was May 23, 1997. I have attempted to upload it here but it seems the video wants to stay right where it is. In the video you hear me say, "Oh, I think I'm doing it!"
Yes, I am doing it. I am living my Ideal Life. With even more passion and joy I continue to simply, completely love life. Alright, I might not turn 18 again and my legs might not grow back (hmmm maybe I should record those in my next Vision), but I am doing it, I am living my Ideal Life and it is, for me, a magical, mystical world, an amazing feeling to seize the endless possibilities available and then make manifest. And it can be for you too. Really, it can. This summer I will be a certified Ideal Life Vision Coach and I'd so enjoy assisting you into your most amazing, manifesting, magical, mystical world.
And her Ideal Life is to be continued….