After 17 years it still happens this way. At some point during the days leading to Memorial Day weekend something will trigger the thought, “What was I doing this day in 1997?” The something though usually has its own little journey leading to the question.
Yesterday, driving south just about to the crest of Blackridge, I notice pieces of a blown, peeled semi tractor trailer tire lying on the side of the road. Not an unusual sight for this stretch of I-15, however it sparked the journey of thought.
A few months back at this location I had one of those intuitive driving moments which we all have and I am ever grateful for acknowledging. I went to pass 2 rigs, passing the first and about to the rear of the next when my gut told me to slow down. Speed reducing, I glanced in my rearview mirror. An in-a-hurry driver was racing up behind me flashing headlights sending me the message “pick up your speed or get out of the way!” There was no way I could merge back into the right lane so, with anxiety I began to accelerate. Again, my intuition said, “Julie, don’t speed up!” Boom! One of the outside tires from the passenger’s side of the flatbed popped, rubber peeling and shredding pieces flying into my lane. I was able to avoid the largest piece which would have done some serious damage. We’ll never know if honoring the gift of intuition saved me or Mr. Speedy behind me but I was ever glad to have listened.
So yesterday, I notice tire remnants, which sparked this memory, which gave me pause to offer thanks for my intuition, which lead me to wonder why I didn’t honor this same divinely inspired intuition the night of my accident, which lead to a question asked by a 4th grader during one of my elementary school readings, “If you could go back in time would you change things and listen to that voice?” Yeah, a 4th grader asked that!
My response to the profound question of this beautiful child, “If I went back to that moment without any knowledge of what I know now other than I’d be run over as a result of not listening, yes, I ooze with humanness, I’d listen and not open that gate. But, knowing what I know, having the experiences I have including the opportunity to be able to visit, share, and bring diversity awareness to people like you, no, I wouldn’t change what happened.”
Driving along yesterday I was lead back to the thought, “What was I doing this day in 1997, the Tuesday before Memorial Day.” I would never have imagined in a million years that the Tuesday after Memorial Day 1997 I’d be in trauma ICU clinging to life nor that it would have been the last Tuesday that I’d ever stand on my own two feet again.
As thoughts continue this week, I shall take a deep breath, offer gratitude for my many gifts, survival, abounding joy, life remains beautiful, yes all the gifts…and remember today is.
A note from a 2nd grader, inside she writes, “I’m glad you still have your happy.”
Here I am with Winter the Dolphin happily swimming on my shirt, can you see she's missing her tail? Those are my 'fake' knees with hearts added to them, very sweet, and 'fake' feet, I had shown the classes my stubbie feet and she drew them, but the best part is my big smile, yep, I still have my happy, do you:?