A journal page, or playing in paint or scribbling with pencil or even writing a blog post, is for me, all about the process, not the finished result. While none of my work maybe ‘artistic’, it is an emergence and exploration into the sea of intuitive self. In the sea of intuitiveness I seem to linger in the safety of the shallow end near the bank where, at any time, I can pull myself up and out. Yet, all the while, I long for the knowledge, discovery, mystery, the depth of what lies beyond. Playing on this journal page I kept hearing, “she knew she’d never have to go beyond her own back yard only beyond the beyond within herself to discover all the beauty her heart longs for.”
What is it I fear? For years I have known I wasn’t tossed into ‘life’ happenstance, thus, I do not wade in the ‘sea’ alone. I have learned over the past 49 revolutions around the sun just how resilient the heart and soul can be. I know, just know, for there are whispers of reminders, promises, and unfolding synchronicities of life which never cease to enthrall me.
So, did I begin to play with the journal page then hear the words or did I hear the words and then began to play with the page…either way it was, once again, about the process and the journey into the intuitive sea albeit along the safe, shallow bank which I remained. While splashing in the shallow waters along the safe bank I recalled events, people, writings, readings, things which occurred over the week and, again, I was struck by the synchronicity of living.
Guidance from Eileen Caddy of Findhorn entitled Deep Within;
"Let nothing disturb or distress you. Seek deep within and find perfect wisdom and understanding. Have you ever watched a spider spinning its web? Every inch of that thread comes from within itself. So with you, you hold deep within you all the secrets of the Universe. There is no need to waste time seeking them from without, they have been yours from the beginning, but have had to lie dormant until you were ready to recognize them and accept them. Then when you are ready nothing is withheld from you, and you know that all I have and all I am is yours."
From Paulo Coelho’s blogspot; an excerpt by Deepak Chopra;
"What was most magical in my childhood was transformation. Death itself was seen as a brief stopping point on an endless soul journey that could turn a peasant into a king and vice versa. With the possibility of infinite lifetimes extending forward and backward, a soul could experience hundreds of heavens and hells. Death ended nothing; it opend up limitless adventures. A drop of water becomes vapor, which is invisible, yet vapor materializes into billowing clouds, and from clouds rain falls back to earth, forming river torrents and eventually merging into the sea. Has the drop of water died along the way? No, it undergoes a new expression at each stage. Likewise, the idea that I have a fixed body locked in space and time is a mirage. Any drop of water inside my body could have been ocean, cloud, river, or spring the day before. I remind myself of this fact when the bonds of daily life squeeze too tight.”
From my friend Charlie, in response to Deepak Chopra’s words;
I think this one tickles the same part of my brain as when, during my first workshop with Mesmera, she said, "Close your eyes and see your breath. Now, realize that some part of the air you are taking in was once breathed by Cleopatra..." yup.
I ran into an acquaintance, which I hadn’t seen in nearly a year, Eileen, who always asks me if I’ve finished my book. Among many things she talked to me about and many things I’d like to share about her and her walk of faith she simply said;
“…you know the secret…yeah, well, I know the secret…”
But she never told me the secret. Is there a secret? She thinks I know the secret.
In Shamanic Journeying A Beginner’s Guide by Sandra Ingerman, I read in chapter two, entitled The Three Worlds;
Speaking of the Lower World, “A literary example of that transition can be found in the story of Alice in Wonderland, where Alice descends into another realm through a magical tunnel. Eventually, you come out into the light…”
Speaking of the Upper World, “This will be a transition, not a barrier, like in the story of Jack and the Beanstalk, where he climbs up…Similarly, The Wizard of Oz, Dorothy travels to another world on a tornado…”
I have related my 49th year journey to Alice; I had a meditative journey just a few weeks ago where, in my personal journaling, I noted the similarities to Jack's beanstalk, and anyone who knows me knows The Wizard of Oz is, by far, my favorite movie and has been since I was a young girl of say about 4.
Which, I was reminded all week, even as recent as yesterday afternoon when a long time friend of Jeff's and mine stoped by and he happened to speak about 4 year olds. He mentioned how pure and honest 4 year olds are, naturally. As I played on this journal page and splased a bit of paint abound on a poster board, I recalled my BIG painting adventure and how we are to paint like a child, like a 4 year old. I recalled, again, my earliest memory from which I was younger than 4. I even asked myself what I believed in, what I knew as a child to be true, what did I possess as a 4 year old that became dormant as the years progressed? Oh, so much...
I don't expect anyone who reads this post to fully or even partially grasp the synchronicity of my life. What I do hope to leave any readers with is, to begin to see the synchronicity of your own life.
This writing is, again, about the process. In the process there is a journey and as I prepare to leave (which I have been dragging my feet to do - oh, hell, you know what I mean) for Las Vegas, but not only this brief journey to Las Vegas but a journey beyond the beyond into the sea, I know there is an unfolding, a facing of fear, a reminder I'm not here happenstance, I'm not splashing alone. In the sea of intuitiveness it is time to let go, which is often more difficult than hanging on, of the safe shallow end and allow the flow to take me out to sea, only a little way...you're gonna be okay...