After letting BabyCat out early this morning, I snuggled back under the covers to finish ‘rising and shining’. My dozed state was abruptly interrupted by the hoot n howl n screams of a cat fight. Jumping up, I leaped into my wheelchair and flew out the door. “BabyCat, BabyCat…” I cried out.
There, tucked up in the old plum tree was BabyCat. His fur was all puffed up and his cute cat body huffed in and out with intense breathing. The other cat, startled, scampered off across the back yard. The cats have an uncanny resemblance, they’re about the same age and same size, both are black and white tuxedo marked felines. BabyCat, of course, is by far more handsome and the other is definitely a feral cat who had the upper hand, or paw in this battle.
It took several minutes to coax BabyCat out of the tree. Once descended, he strutted his tough cat stuff around like he had had full control of the situation. But his mad dash into the house let me know his heart was secretly glad I came to the rescue.
I wondered what must have gone through BabyCat’s tiny cat mind. Maybe he thought FeralCat would be his friend, after all he was so very much like him. However, to his surprise, FeralCat wanted nothing to do with him except be cruel. Or, was it BabyCat who instigated the confrontation? Maybe FeralCat wanted to know if BabyCat would share his cat snacks, and BabyCat rudely refused. Either way FeralCat was to BabyCat the uninvited trespasser who got the best of BabyCat, sending him to seek a place of safety.
Later, while taking the trash out, I saw BabyCat out across the back yard. “BabyCat, get over here, FeralCat’s going to get you again, BabyCat!” I heard a little meow next to me. To my surprise, BabyCat came running home from the opposite direction. I can’t believe I confused the two; yes, they are so similar.
How often have I been feral, delivering cruel and harsh words, actions, or poor energy from tainted thoughts? Have I sent others away, their hearts seeking a place of safety? If I’ve done this any of you, please let me know, I owe you a sincere apology.
I know I have been feral to myself. Self inflicted cruel and harsh words, thoughts and neglectful actions have sent my heart scampering up, tucking in, hiding out, seeking a safer place. On this, my 49th year journey, it must stop, no more FeralCat fights with self, I will shoo FeralCat out across the yard.
As I’m thinking this out, I notice BabyCat in front of the mirror door. I watched him watch himself. He was playing with his reflection, then he pinned his ears back and a little growl rumbled out from his purr. He arched his back, puffed his fur, rolled onto his side and began batting at his reflection.
Maybe the similarities, the reflection, even the cat spat have more to offer then just a morning adventure. The two may have much to learn about and from each other then BabyCat and I know. I’m sure as Spring evolves into Summer the two will meet up again, as it appears they ‘share’ turf. The question will be, can they co-exisit on the same acre, can they learn not to send their furred up puffing hearts up a tree or across the back yard; can I?
Julia. I had to come and read the whole story. I admire how you look deeper into what happened. The old Shadow self, huh? For BabyCat it's FeralCat and for you, it's FeralYou. We all have it though, and it takes a brave soul to look it in the face and accept it. It is important to forgive ourselves and move forward so I hope while you are examining past behaviour that you do this as often as you look back. Beautiful rendition of the heart tree. I, too, this morning had done a heart in a tree for my Morning Page. Funny how a tribe may visualize similar things at similar times, huh?
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