Friday, April 29, 2011

Where Have I Been?

My childhood friend, Diane, her father had given me a little wine crate. As a pre-teen this was a wonderful treasure; or more like a wonderful treasure chest. I’m not sure I had to think about what I would do with the wooden crate, I actually think I just knew what to do with it. My dad had some left over wood stain which I painted on the crate. I had discovered an old print of an owl and a quote. I burned around the edges of the print and then decoupage it onto the top of my new treasure chest.  So profound is the quote on the chest that I had memorized it way back then. It’s this quote which best describes my absence from Keeping It So Simple.
“There once was an owl who lived in an oak
The more he saw the less he spoke
The less he spoke the more he heard
Now why can’t we all be like this wise old bird.”

The cancellation of the Las Vegas house five hours prior to its close, did knock me back a bit. I had sealed the memories of this house and had resolution in the sell; so having it back in my lap in such way lead me to cry for three days, which added to my time away.
Also, although it is important for me to do this blogspot, it’s hard to expose so much of myself by sharing my writing. Not that I’m writing anything of great significance or hidden secrets, sharing on a blogspot puts ‘me’ out there, to be read, viewed, commented on, or not commented on. And sometimes, for someone who is a little insecure like me, it gets kind of risky, a bit scary.
It’s funny when you discover something about yourself; something you’ve done for a long time but never took notice of. Then, one day, out of the blue, you clearly notice it and it strikes wonderment within you and you say, “Why am I doing that?” This is what happened to me recently; I discovered that I tend to ramble, blabber, blah blah blah, on and on and not just with people; God only knows how long I’ve done it with people; but the real discovery occurred here, at home, alone and I found myself randomly blabbering to myself, to Cadbury, to BabyCat, to the walls…uggg I blabber. Why, I wondered; and I thought maybe it’s because if I keep on blabbering people, or Cadbury, or BabyCat, or I won’t notice what it is I’m missing.Even as I’m writing this, I know my ramblings have gone on long before I lost my legs, because I have just recalled a memory from back when Jeff and I first started dating.
Oh, one of those wonderful memories which can be recalled so very clearly, like it was just yesterday. It was after dark, he had just picked me up for a date. We were in his Chevy pickup truck with the bench seat. I always got in on his side and sat in the center, right next to him (isn’t that just so damn cute). I had plopped off my shoes and tucked my feet up under my right side; my left arm stretched up on the back of his seat so my hand came around to rest on his left shoulder. Comfortably sitting with him, I was just talking away, talk, talk, talk (not to be confused with blah, blah, blah). The glow from the street lights was rhythmically casting into the cab of the truck as we drove west on Vegas Drive. From one of the lights I noticed he was smiling to himself. “Why are you smiling? I’m not saying anything funny.”
“I know you’re not; I just know whenever I pick you up I won’t be saying anything for the first 30 minutes or so,” he sweetly said.
Well, there I have it, I must have always been a blabber, rambler and I probably always will be, to some extent anyway. This talkitiveness is the main thing that has kept me from Keeping It So Simple. It's time for me to see and listen more. Not so much with my eyes and ears but with my intuition. We all are innately intuitive; life somehow has a way of nudging us away from intuition and relying more on reason or it pushes us right into 'thinking' we have so much to say and in my case I just blah, blah, blah. Why is this?
For me, on this my 49th year journey, it is imperative that I rediscover my intuition, to be fully enliven by intuitions possibilities. This is why I had to join a BIG Fearless Painting Tribe. My BIG 6 week adventure is over but my intuitive painting possibilities are only beginning. I will have much to write about BIG but if you’re at all interested you can find information here at Go and check it out, I think you’ll like it.
I have also been led to seek yoga. I have been curious for so long if I could even do yoga without legs. But, finally I was brave enough (bravery is part of BIG) and came across a yoga studio in Cedar and although this is very new to me I must say yoga is like being reacquainted with a long lost friend. I am so enjoying this new adventure and it too is tapping into my intuitiveness. Yoga will provide much for me to write about but if you’re interested, I encourage you to research yoga for yourself. My study is beginning here but information is widely available if you look.
There are two other things which will be providing events to write about as well as tapping into my intuition and enriching my 49th year. One, is bike riding (yes it’s really a trike but you know how I feel about that). Yesterday, my American Hero friend, Travis, and now also known as my ‘bike coach/trainer’ came out and picked me up and we went for a ride. I was way, way, way slow but the good news is I never felt like I would pop a lung and my arms didn’t fatigue out. I thought we’d only gone about 5 miles; come to find out it was 11; yes, 11 whole, wonderful, ok slow on my part, but invigorating miles.
The other thing I’m doing is planting. It is finally planting season and I have increased my box gardens from 2 to 6. Recently, I have been out pulling weeds, a lot of weeds as well as doing some planting. Let me tell you Mother Earth has much to say, well I’m sure I will be telling you soon, but I hope you go out and listen her; get to know Mother Earth all over again.
Oh, yes, and BabyCat has provided a few silly things for me to write about as well. I don’t think he will be aiding my intuitiveness, but you never know.
My goodness, now see, I am a blabber, rambler, blah blah blah; this long post proves it (as if any proof was needed). But I am also beginning to see and to listen. After all these years, I am ready to grasp the quote on my treasure chest. I am ready to become like that wise old bird and fill the chest with intuitive treasures.

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